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Rhino's Revenge/Transcript
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Rhino's Revenge" from the television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks. Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Scott Kreamer. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by action=history}} contributors of this article. __TOC__ Act 1 scene opens up panning throughout the [[Valley of Peace].] PO: The Valley of Peace, a land cruelly beset by a thousand villains, scene changes to the [[Po's Village|village], bustling with villagers.] and yet tranquility reigns, due to a single bodacious hero, scene shifts to the [[Student Barracks].] the Dragon Warrior, who in his... camera pans down the hall in the barracks. eternal pursuit of justice... (yawning) never rests. scene shifts to Po's room, revealing him to be talking in his sleep You shall not have your way with me, evil enchantress... continues sleeping when he hears a creaking board. He quickly gets up and does a form with a wooden sword. The [[Furious Five] arrive, taking stances and startling Po and causing him to drop the sword.] FURIOUS FIVE: Happy Dragon Warrior Day! PO: Oh yeah, a whole day celebrating the Dragon Warrior, which is great if you are the Dragon Warrior, which, last time I checked, I am! MONKEY: We have something for you. out a bean cake. PO: Ooh, bean cake! MONKEY: Uhh, uhh, uhh! Furious Five take stances. You want the bean cake, you'll have to go through us. PO: Gasps My two favorite things, food and Kung Fu! lunges at Monkey. The Five spread out. MONKEY: up his fist. Here's my fist! Sorry, didn't have time to wrap it. dodges Monkey's hits and is able to get under him and hit him with his butt. Po has the bean cake for a short time, but [[Viper] attacks him, causing him to drop it.] VIPER: Is this fun for you? around Po's hands and uses the [[Self-Punching Technique].] Monkey said you would like it. PO: Are you kidding?! It's awesome! manages to grab Viper and throw her. [[Crane] goes to attack Po, but Po quickly regains hold of the bean cake as Crane gets a wing cramp.] CRANE: Oh, wing cramp! [ Tigress pounces Po, grabbing his hand with the bean cake. Po keeps hold of the bean cake and bumps Tigress away.] MANTIS: Guys, watch this. does some [[Nerve attack|nerve strikes] around Po's face. The rest of the Five lunge at Po, but Po grabs them as a group, swing them around, and throws them around the room. He then grabs his bean cake in triumph.] PO: leaning against the door. And that's what makes me the Dragon Warrior. [ Shifu opens the door, knocking down Po.] SHIFU: Po, the imperial sculptor is here to capture your-- leans up with food on his face. magnificence! PO: Gasps Cool! scene changes and Po and Shifu are in the [[Training Hall]'s Courtyard looking at a giant stone pillar.] PO: Wow, it's really... Huh! Uh, where's the head? SCULPTOR: I haven't started. PO: A-ha, Oh, chuckles so the head's on the inside. I'm sort of new to art. the sculptor. Uh, look and I'm just spit balling here but, maybe we should do one with a bit more sizzle. SHIFU: Sizzle? PO: out two fans. Yeah, like this, a big dragon, with flaming wings! smacks the sculptor with his fans as he poses. Or I could do a wise old turtle, with flaming wings! smacks the sculptor again. or a tree... SHIFU: With flaming wings? PO: Don't see why not. SHIFU: I think it needs to be a little more-- "without flaming wings". PO: Oh, alright. poses, but smacks the sculptor again. Oh, wait, no, that one has flaming wings. sculptor grunts. Oh, sorry! SCULPTOR: I get the idea. away. PO: Sweet. Well, I'm gonna go head down to the village and... SHIFU: What about your training, panda? PO: and turns around But, Master Shifu, they're like, hanging streamers and stuff, for me, I have fans! keeps a stern expression, but Po remains excited, ultimately causing Shifu to change his decision. SHIFU: Sighs Very well, but be back in time to train tonight. walks away. Po goes down to the village, where grateful villagers are hanging decorations for Dragon Warrior Day. Po marvels at the decorations. PO: Hey, everybody! PIG: Happy Dragon Warrior Day. Po. duck villager, on a roof, calls down to Po. ZHAO: Hey, Po! Thanks for getting rid of Tai Lung! PO: Hey there Zhao! continues walking as [[Mrs. Yoon] passes him.] PO: Did you wear that for me Mrs. Yoon? MRS. YOON: (Flattered) Oh, Po... continues walking. (Hysterically) Yes! young villagers walk up to Po. FANG: Oh, Po! You wanna see our Kung Fu routine for the Dragon Warrior Parade?! PO: Lay it on me! three young villagers do a short fighting routine before falling down. PO: That was awesome! arrives at [[Mr. Ping]'s Noodle Shop.] PO: Dad, it's me. inside. MR. PING: Who's there?! Po over the head with a wok, knocking him down. Oh, Po, my beloved son. Po sits up, he hits him with the wok again. Why did you scare me like that?! PO: his head. Ow! Dad, ugh, what's goin' on? MR. PING: Oh, I'm sorry son. I've been on edge ever since that hideous rhino walked into town. rhino passes the front entrance and sits down. MR. PING: Always sitting on the curb in front of the shop. He's scaring away all my customers, Po! rhino scares away two approaching customers. PO: Let the Dragon Warrior take care of it. leaves the kitchen and approaches the rhino. The rhino scares away another customer. PO: Hey, what's up, friend? a fit of rage, the rhino attacks Po, but he misses every hit and eventually gives up. PO: Whoa! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the-- whatever it is that rhinos sleep on. rhino attacks Po again, this time Po flips him. HUNDUN: What would you know about anything?! up. About the charred, burned, insides of my hurt! Searing the seared rubble of my soul! PO: You talk pretty. Hundun. Look, maybe I can help you. throws his fists at Po. HUNDUN: Everything that I once loved was ripped away from me by an evil fiend! down. My job, my home, my family, were all scattered to the wind like dust and dirt in the wind is scattered. Sniffles. PO: Who would do such a thing? HUNDUN: The despicable snake who stole my soul like an eclipse moon of pain! The evil monster that made my life a living spanking! Po and squeezes him. Who I hate with all my being is... squeezing Po harder. the Dragon Warrior! eyes widen with fear. of Act 1 Act 2 remains tensed with fear after Hundun reveals that he hates the Dragon Warrior. After a while, Hundun loosens his grip on Po and he backs away. PO: Whoa! Whoa, you hate the Dragon Warrior? HUNDUN: Yes! And as soon as I find out who he is I'll tell 'em to his ugly face. PO: You mean, y-you don't know? HUNDUN: No, that's why I'm here. It's Dragon Warrior Day, he's gotta show up. PO: Well, I bet you'd like him. HUNDUN: Never! After what he did. PO: What'd he do? I mean, he might not even know he do-ed it. HUNDUN: I was a guard at Chorh-Gom Prison, right upfront in the front line of defense against Tai Lung upfront. 2-D animated flashback begins. [[Battle of Chorh-Gom Prison|Tai Lung is escaping] Chorh-Gom Prison. Tai Lung comes to a crowd of rhino guards, Hundun is in the crowd. Tai Lung plows through the crowd of guards and eventually makes it out out of the prison.] HUNDUN (VOICE OVER): After Tai Lung escaped, he was defeated by that idiot the Dragon Warrior. rhinos are out in the cold in front of the prison, when they see the shockwave from Po's [[Wuxi Finger Hold] on Tai Lung, travel over the nearby mountains.] HUNDUN (V.O.): Because of him, we lost our only prisoner. Chorh-Gom was shut down, closed, boarded up, shut down... guards start boarding up the front entrance and leaving. Hundun stares through the creases of the boarded up entrance. PO (V.O.): But that's good right? HUNDUN (V.O.): ...Closed... PO (V.O.): I mean, no more Tai Lung. HUNDUN (V.O.): You're not even listening! No prisoner means no prison. No prison means no job. How can you not understand that?! PO (V.O.): Sorry. arrives in his village, where he stands out in the rain. HUNDUN (V.O.): I lost my job! And my house, wife and kids walk away. my wife, my kids, two close goat friends, goats walk away. and a pair of slippers from the Hao Jhao region. goat takes a pair of slippers from Hundun. scowls as lightning strikes. End of 2-D flashback. HUNDUN: All because of one guy's huge ego. (Mockingly) Ooh, I'm the Dragon Warrior. I'll destroy Tai Lung. Look at me I'm awesome! PO: But if the Dragon Warrior hadn't done something, the whole Valley of Peace would've been destroyed! HUNDUN: I don't live in the Valley of Peace. I'm talkin' about me, my needs, you sound just like my wife-- 'cept she had a deeper voice. his head on a nearby wall. I used to be a warrior. Now, I'm just a doughy guy with really scaly dry skin. sobbing. I have nothing. The Dragon Warrior took it all away! PO: I'm so sorry. HUNDUN: Why? The Dragon Warrior did it, not you. PO: I mean like, "sorry sympathetic", not "sorry I'm the guy who ruined your life, which I'm not, and I didn't do-- that. HUNDUN: Sorry doesn't get me a job. Doesn't get my life back! starts sobbing. Po becomes thoughtful toward Hundun. PO: You know what? I'm gonna help you get your life back! a blank scroll. Let's make a list, then we just knock things off it as we go. Okay: writing a list. house, job, two goat friends... HUNDUN: They never liked me. PO: Self-esteem... HUNDUN: Stupid self-esteem, I hate you for not me having you. charges at a nearby wall. PO: Anger issues... two begin approaching the Noodle Shop. PO: You're gonna love working here. walk inside. PO: Dad. MR. PING: Who's there?! Ping hits Hundun over the head with a wok, knocking him down. PO: Uh, dad, this is Hundun. He's your new waiter. MR. PING: Oh, table five needs egg rolls. Ping puts a plate of egg rolls on Hundun. Po starts reaching toward the egg rolls to eat them, but Mr. Ping stops him by hitting him with a wok. PO: Ow! and Hundun go upstairs to Po's room. PO: And you can stay here, until you're back on your feet. looks around at the wooden weapons, cheap bull drawing, and Furious Five decorations. HUNDUN: Did a small child live here? PO: Cool stuff, right? reaches toward one of the action figures. PO: Wh-h-h-hoa, uh, limited editions. straightens out the Monkey action figure. Hundun sits down on a bed. Mr. Ping comes upstairs. HUNDUN: Thanks Po. I misjudged you, I thought you were just some dumb panda. MR. PING: Ha, he's not just a dumb panda, he's the Dragon... hears his father about to shout out his warrior title, so he dives on him and they fall down the stairs. PO: Good night! fall into the kitchen. PO: Uh, dad, let's not mention me being the Dragon Warrior to Hundun. I just want him to get to like me, as Po. in Po's room, Po hands Hundun a pair of slippers. PO: Gotcha somethin'. HUNDUN: Slippers. PO: From the Hao Jhao region. Item number six, skadoosh. off from the list. boards begin creaking nearby. Hundun falls through the floor and lands in the kitchen. HUNDUN: Sorry, I can't even sit down right. himself in the head. Dumb rhino stupid idiotic dumbness! PO: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what're you beatin' yourself up for? HUNDUN: It helps me! It's the only thing that relieves my rampant anger! PO: Yeah, luckily, I have just the thing for unbridled rage. It's a little thing I like to call-- Kung Fu Training. takes Hundun out into the middle of the forest to train him. PO: Okay, so, in Kung Fu, the goal is to address your weakness, which in your case, happens to be your temper. starts throwing a fit of rage and he attacks Po. HUNDUN: Liar! I have no weaknesses! flips Hundun onto the ground to stop him. PO: H-Hey, hey, everyone has weaknesses. Me, I can't defend against the Swirling Lynx Round Kick. performs the Swirling Lynx Round Kick and ends up kicking himself in the face. PO: See what I mean? HUNDUN: Yeah, but you're just some panda. PO: Even the masters have weaknesses. HUNDUN: You're just saying that because I'm pathetic! PO: No, every single one of the Furious Five has a weakness: doing various forms as he goes through each of the Five. Master Tigress, it's the armpit, grab Monkey's tail, he's a goner, Mantis, blind spot on the right, Viper, frontal attacks, Crane, sweep the leg. in a standard Crane stance. HUNDUN: Hey, how come you know so much about the Furious Five? PO: Uh, just a-- fan, like you're a fan of unbridled rage. HUNDUN: Oh, yeah. montage of Po teaching Hundun various Kung Fu forms begins. First, Po does an uppercut, which Hundun copies well. PO: Yeah. Po spins around and swings his fist. Hundun tries to copy the move, but he fails, to which he begins raging. Po stops him. PO: See, you got mad there, let's go again. gets up. Po does a single Tai Chi form, which Hundun copies effortlessly. Po then hits Hundun on the arm and starts poking him. PO: Am I making you mad? Huh? Huh? H-H-Huh? rages and charges into a nearby tree. Next, Po has Hundun balance on a rock with one foot as they do a punching exercise. After a while Hundun starts losing his balance. Po tries to make him angry, so he hits him. PO: That hurt? It didn't hurt, it makes you mad doesn't it? Hundun. Uh-huh, yeah, I'm making you mad. Hundun by the horn and starts poking him. A-h-huh, am I? Am I? gets angry and falls down. PO: Anger, you're too angry, do it again. starts hyperventilating. Next, Po has Hundun do some sit ups. As he does them, Po starts bumping Hundun with his butt, to make him rage. PO: How 'bout that? Huh? Am I making you mad Mr. Rage-y? Huh? Still Mr. Rage-y? snaps, so Po sits on him. Next, Po spars with Hundun. Hundun throws a punch, which Po dodges. Po then pulls out a fan and tries to get Hundun angry. PO: Feel that? Hmm? You see that? That's, that's just like Hundun with the fan. the rage, that burns, and it's comin' up! In the background soon it's like (High-pitched) ooh ooh, ah ah, rage! starts getting angry, then he exhales and calms down and does a stance, much to Po's surprise. Po then takes a stance and the two begin sparring. PO: Ha, yeah. two bow to one another. Later, Po and Hundun go to a hill and look out over the Valley of Peace. HUNDUN: I feel powerful, like a great sea eagle, soaring over the sea with my wing power. Like I could finally achieve my dreams. You are a true friend, Po. I owe you everything, com'ere you! Po. PO: That's what friends do, they help each other and they tell each other everything... That's why there's something I need to tell you. HUNDUN: That's great, because I have a secret that I could only tell you now because you're my friend! It's my special dream and you made it possible, friend! PO: That's sweet. You go first. HUNDUN: Okay, my special dream is up. I'm going to destroy the Dragon Warrior. becomes frightened. HUNDUN: Now you go. PO: Oh, uh, my special dream was to have you meet the Dragon Warrior and be friends. ponders on the idea. HUNDUN: That's a great idea, I could befriend him... PO: Exactly! HUNDUN: ...And then kill him! becomes frightened. In the village, many decorations are now up, including the sculpture of Po. By the sculpture are Shifu and the Furious Five. SHIFU: The Dragon Warrior festival starts in an hour and Po is nowhere to be seen. I need you to find him. Five bow to Shifu and take off. SHIFU: Start with the dumpling carts! and Hundun wander into another part of the village. PO: Uh, a dumpling from a nearby cart. I'm not killing the Dragon Warrior's a good idea, if you ever find out who he is. is startled when he rounds the corner and sees all of the Dragon Warrior decorations. He drops his dumpling. PO: Dragon Warrior Day! hides a villager that walks by with a Po statue. HUNDUN: Why not? My rage used to be like a rotting fish, then you turned it into a blossom, like a beautiful death-dealing azalea. hides a poster of himself by doing a stance in front of it. PO: Uh, me? Nah. walks away and Po rips down the poster. He gives it to a villager to take away. HUNDUN: You sure did. I used to just feel sorry for myself. Now, I can actually kill someone, thanks to you. PO: It was nothin'. Hundun away to keep him from seeing nearby decorations. FANG: Hey, Po! a poster. HUNDUN: Yes it was. Po. PO: the poster. No it wasn't! Hundun away. pushes a cart away. HUNDUN: Hey, are you trying to hide something from me? PO: What? No, Laughs. what could I possibly be hiding from you? unknowingly stands in front of the giant sculpture of himself. Hundun then sees the sculpture and starts comparing it to Po. Po then unknowingly performs the same stance as the statue. PO: I mean, I'm an open book! Nothing to hide, just a regular guy. Uh, nothin' to hide, just a regular guy who helps his friends. growls and starts scowling Po. PO: I'm standing right behind me aren't I? HUNDUN: You''are the Dragon Warrior? You lied to me! '''PO:' But for good reason, because you hated the Dragon Warrior, but he's nice, and I'm him, so I was nice and you like me, and I'm the Dragon Warrior! It's less complicated then it sounds. HUNDUN: You lied to make me your friend! But instead, you trained your assassin. PO: Uh, interesting perspective. HUNDUN: Now we fight! a stance. PO: No way Hundun, I don't fight friends. We are friends, right? charges Po, but Po moves out of the way, jumping to the hanging decor. HUNDUN: You can't run Dragon Warrior, I will find a way to make you fight me, in a fight! PO:'So we're good? ''swings away on the decorations. Hundun leaves. In another part of the village, Po meets up with the Furious Five. '''PO: ...And then he threatened to kill me. TIGRESS: There's a rhino who wants you dead, so you got him a job, a place to live, and taught him how to kill you? PO: Yeah! I mean, (Nervously) yeah. TIGRESS: Where's Hundun now? PO: I don't know, I mean, he said he was gonna make me fight him, which, how could he do that? MR. PING: Po! Help me! has Mr. Ping by the neck as he dangles him off of a high roof. PO: Let him go Hundun! MR. PING: Po! Po! Help me! Eat at Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop! Save me from a certain demise! Everything half-off before five o'clock! HUNDUN: So, willing to fight me now Dragon Warrior?! PO: This is between you and me! HUNDUN: The only thing between you and me will be my fist, coming from me, punching you! PO: Put my dad down Hundun! a stance. I don't wanna hurt you! HUNDUN: You're the one who will feel the hurt from my hurting you! prepares to lunge at Hundun, but Tigress stops him. TIGRESS: No, Po, you taught him your weakness. We'll handle this. Five jump toward Hundun. PO: No! Uh, guys, I forgot I accidentally told him your weaknesses too. Five ate stunned when they reach Hundun. Po cringes as he sees the Five get attacked. HUNDUN: Armpit! Blind spot! Front! Tail! Ankle! Five fall in front of Po. PO: Oh... of Act 2 Act 3 watches in horror as the Five lay injured. PO: No! begins laughing as he continues to dangle Mr. Ping from the roof. Po becomes angry. HUNDUN: Only a coward would hide behind his friends. But there's nowhere to hide now. PO: You want me not my dad! loosens his grip on Mr. Ping and lets him fall. Mr. Ping screams as he falls, but before he can hit the ground, he starts flapping his wings and flies to safety. Hundun jumps down to Po and takes a stance. Po takes a stance and has a short standoff with Hundun. Po drops his stance. PO: I don't want this Hundun, I still think of you as my friend. So let's just stop now and call it even. HUNDUN: Ha, ha, ha, you can't beat me. I know your weakness, and you cured me of mine. PO: Oh, did I! HUNDUN: Yes, you did. PO: Oh yeah, prob'ly shouldn't've done that. I uh... attacks Po. Nearby villagers see the fight and watch it. PIG: Ooh! They're reenacting the battle between Po and Tai Lung for Dragon Warrior Day! group of villagers runs over to watch the fight. A nearby band starts playing music as other villagers run to witness the fight. Villagers cheer as Po blocks and dodges Hundun's attacks. After a while, Po and Hundun try to push one another, but they are equally matched. HUNDUN: Admit it, you are defeated. PO: There's two schools of thought on that: one Hundun with his belly. and two! Hundun. bounces Hundun between his belly and the Dragon Warrior sculpture repeatedly. PO: Happy Dragon Warrior Day! flies up and lands on the hand of the sculpture. He then falls flat in front of the sculpture. The crowd cheers. Po approaches Hundun as he lays flat. HUNDUN: Stop! Stop! You're right, Po. It's not all about me. I've been so selfish! gets worried as Hundun starts sobbing. HUNDUN: I'm sorry! PO: You-- are? HUNDUN: Yes. Forgive me, friend. reaches up to Po, who helps him up. HUNDUN: I even got you something for Dragon Warrior Day. smiles. I think you'll like it... A Swirling Lynx Round Kick! delivers a Swirling Lynx Round Kick to Po's face, knocking him a distance down the village. Po gets back up, only to be hit by Hundun's round kicks several more times. HUNDUN: Ha, ha, Your real weakness, Po is not the kick, it's your heart. It's as big and sappy as an old sappy plum tree filed with plum sap. lays on the ground breathing heavily. PO: up. At least I have a heart. stands up as Hundun gets increasingly angry. PO: But all I've done is been kind! And all you've done is blame me for your rotten life! And guess what?! I love plum sap! How 'bout that?! points and slightly ducks, causing him to unknowingly dodge Hundun's Swirling Lynx Round Kick. Hundun smashes into a cart. When Po opens his eyes, he realizes that he dodged the kick. PO: Gasps. I dodged the kick! I dodged the kick! faces Hundun and is able to avoid his round kicks by slightly ducking. PO: Sweet! dodges Hundun's kicks. Eventually Hundun falls down and Po resorts to poking him to make him angry. PO: Not sure if you realize this, but I just dodged all your Swirling Lynx Round Kicks! continues to harass Hundun as he gets up. Po stands by the stautue of himself a small distance from Hundun. PO: You know what your weakness is Hundun?! You stink at friendship. rages and charges at Po. Po dodges his attack by jumping, and also pulling out fans. Hundun slams into the statue, cracking the base. Po lands and is greeted by a crowd of cheering villagers. He poses with the fans. PO: Flaming wings! hands Mrs. Yoon a fan, flattering her. Hundun remains at the statue, due to his horn getting stuck in it. He starts pulling to get unstuck, only to lose a large piece of his horn. HUNDUN: (Nasally) My horn! My horn! injured Five now stand by Po. PO: Ha, it's always something with this guy. TIGRESS: Po, look, the statue! statue starts leaning and falls toward Hundun, who watches in horror as it nears crushing him. Po stops the statue from falling. HUNDUN: You saved me! Why? PO: Struggling. That's what the Dragon Warrior does. Ah, this is heavy! thinks for a second, but his hatred gets the best of him and he pushes Po away. HUNDUN: I don't need your... statue leans further. Help! statue crushes Hundun, creating a cloud of dust. Later, Po and the Five are in the [[Training Hall].] MONKEY: So, Po, did you enjoy Dragon Warrior Day? is revealed to be playing with his Furious Five action figures, as well as a small Dragon Warrior statue. PO: Yeah! CRANE: Hey, you're not feelin' bad that you exposed our weaknesses to Hundun and put us in mortal danger. PO: Uh, up. of course, I feel terrible about that. I'm sorry I put you guys in danger. VIPER: It's okay. CRANE: Yeah, okay, apology excepted. MONKEY: Aw, don't worry about it, it's okay. PO: But hey, wasn't it the best Dragon Warrior Day ever in the history of all time! Plus they reopened Chorh-Gom Prison, right? Hundun got his wish. scene changes to Chorh-Gom Prison, where rhino guards are now present. Hundun is shackled to a wall. He has a bandage keeping his horn on. HUNDUN: Finally home. My revenge will be like a poison river of molten iron which drips and burns like iron that has been melted and now drips-- and burns. starts laughing, causing his horn to fall off. HUNDUN: (Nasally) Oh! Your gonna pay, pal. You will pay! of Act 3 of Transcript Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:Legends of Awesomeness transcripts Category:LOA Season 1 transcripts